Sunday, January 15, 2012

Moving Mountains May be Easier



Helen was stubborn.  For over two years her son had encouraged her to move into an apartment or a retirement community, but she adamantly refused to follow his advise.   She was comfortable and content in the home she had maintained for over 20 years. She intended to stay there until she died.

It is an honorable ambition to want to live at home independently. Helen’s son did what he could to support her desire, despite his having to be on call in case she needed him. She could no longer drive, so she depended on her son to take her to the grocery store, the bank, or to her numerous doctor appointments.

As the years passed, keeping up the house became more stressful for Helen.  She complained that the household chores sapped her energy. She could no longer balance on a ladder to reach the top of the windows to wash them, nor could she push the vacuum cleaner without her arms and shoulders aching.  Her son did all the yard work, but he traveled out of town for his job. The grass and weeds grew fast in the summer, and Helen nagged him when the yard showed the sad signs of neglect.

Helen’s greatest pleasure was feeding the squirrels and the birds.  It was a daily ritual.  Every morning Redbirds and Robins, and an occasionally feisty Bluebird would gather outside her patio door seeking a handout. Helen would toss them seeds and bread crumbs, chatting contently as if they understood her.  

Helen never experienced a crisis or a fall, but one day, “out of the blue” she said to her son, “I’m ready to move.”  Astonished, but relieved, he took her to visit several communities and senior apartments.  It didn’t take long for her to decide, based on her income, which community was the most appropriate.

Once Helen signed the rental contract, she began to panic.  “How will I ever deal with all this stuff?” she wailed.  “I can’t sort, pack, and box the dishes or the pots and pans.  What will I do with the furniture?  It won’t all fit in the new apartment.  I’m not going,” she declared.   “Call the sales lady immediately and get my money back.”

Her son, a friend of mine, had already offered to help, but he was discouraged. He called me, and I could hear the frustration in his voice.  “She won’t listen to me, he complained.  “She needs to throw stuff away, and she won’t hear of it.  Everything I suggest ends up in an argument.  I don’t want to cancel the move; this is the best thing for her, but the way it’s going, I may not have a choice.”

“I have a perfect solution.” I said.  “You need to call Mrs. Beckworth.”  She does nothing but move seniors.  She will easily win your mother’s confidence because she is sincere and caring.  She will guide your mom through each phase of the move.  Eventually, she will pack what items she and your mom decide to take.  Then she will dispose of the things that are unnecessary, and finally she will schedule the truck and the movers.”

“How much will it cost?” he asked.

I avoided his question.  “Then,” I continued, “she will also execute the very last phase, and probably the most effective--that is the unpacking.  When your mom enters her new home for the first time, everything will be in place. The clothes will be folded neatly in the drawers, the pictures will be arranged on the walls, and the drapes will be perfectly hung.  You can’t beat it.”

Again he asked,  “How much will it cost?”  I knew that my friend had a “frugal” reputation, so I continued to avoid his question. “Mrs. Beckworth is busy everyday of the week.  If you expect to get your mom moved by the first, you will have to call her very soon.”

“How much will it cost?” he repeated.

“Every job is different.  In my opinion, she doesn’t charge nearly enough for all that she does.  She will quote you a price once she sees what how much your mom insists on moving. “ 

I hung up the phone and thought to myself.  There are senior movers in almost every city in the US.  There is a website, www.nasmm.org/ that lists the cities and the senior movers who service them.  Often, it is the logistics of organizing the huge task of the move that prevents a senior from relocating to a community.  Although they understand intuitively that they would be happier and safer in their new home, they are overwhelmed by the thoughts of sorting and packing the items they have collected for decades.  It is helpful for them to have an objective third party on hand to lighten the burden.

I didn’t hear from my friend until after the first of the month.  “Did your mom move?’ I asked.  “Yes. Thanks to you and Mrs. Beckworth. She is happy in her new place, and I feel so much better about her safety.  The people there have been very helpful.”

“Great,” I responded.  We chatted for a few minutes, and then as I started to say good-bye and hang up the phone, my friend interrupted, “Karen, thank you.” 

“For what?” I asked. 

“For sending me to Mrs. Beckworth. You were right.  The money I paid her was the best money I ever spent.” 

Coming from a man who squeezed every penny, it was all I could do not to say, “I told you so.”






2 comments:

  1. That's a fantastic story. That link will help a lot of people too. I thought Mrs. Beckworth was a rarity

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  2. Love this article, Karen! It really shows how a senior mover can help the process along!

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